Squeeze more dollars from every visitor with personalized advertising insights.

Well, yeah. Isn't that how it usually works? :)

> Gather more upvotes from every viewer using best-practice microservices.

Pretty sure this just told me the secret to securing HN Karma.

   Extract more Benjamins from every one of your old friends, 
   with best-of-breed tracking innovations.

undefined

I can't tell the difference with LinkedIn posts

This is great, also the other categories. But it lacks porn.

Like Dallas does Debbie in Denver, or something like that :-)

Let's play name that company:

Share metrics between business units with collaborative solution platforms.

OP: this is yours right? Did you just add the b2b one or something?

“Squeeze more peace of mind from each visitor with aggressive chatbot services.”

Ship it!

It has other fun features, like catchy headline generator. "Hillary Clinton’s 8 Titilating Woodworking Tips"

> "Maximize your dynamic results using weapons-grade advertising strategies."

Sounds pretty valid tbh

undefined

Extract more personal data from each affiliate with full-stack data insights.

Finally, now I don't need to stress about what to write in my resumé.

Crypto version please!

  Duke of Punishment (Action Movie)