This is very much context and culture dependent. For example, in some civil services, managers never get into trouble for saying no, as they can spin a no as being good stewards of public funds. Saying yes is far riskier and requires either top down direction or group consensus, or both.

The hardest thing about making decisions is accepting that some people don’t want that responsibility. If you are willing to make decisions, and have a decent track record and can justify them in a manner acceptable to your organization, you can go far.

I hadn’t been a manager long when two of my staff came to tell me of a customer problem. They summarized the situation, offered alternatives, and a recommendation. Then waited.

I tried to look pensive as if considering what they were saying, while all the while thinking that their assessment was cogent and their recommendation spot on. Honestly, I couldn’t figure out why they were there. It took me a bit to realize they needed me to okay it: I was the manager, so I had to take responsibility, they didn’t want that.

OK, let’s do that, I said, and if they went, happy. One of them became a very good manager some time later when they decided they did want that responsibility.

Enough No and you will find yourself questioning why are your best people leaving, very often your best people are the one who cares and are pushing for better change.

At the end you will have yourself a team of yes-man which, ironically, is often what you really need in the kind of environment that demands saying No a lot - you need people that simply get things done accordingly without having too much ambition, that eliminates the need to put those foolish ambition to rest.

> Understand what the priority is, evaluate the ROI for the ideas you propose, determine whether the timing for it is the right one.

The issue with this approach is that most "lesser skilled" managers will not understand the ROI of fundamental work, that not immediately leads to an ROI, as sometimes those things cannot be well quantified. Those are the cases, where you then need to be able to trust the more skilled team members to make those decisions also on other value driving criteria.

Steve Jobs on saying no: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8eP99neOVs

I’ve always told people that when they’re fresh to the industry, they will likely be a “Yes, And” person. Someone super excited and willing to accept the reality and build upon it.

As you become more senior, you realize that no is your superpower to get anything meaningful done. You then become a “No, But” person in which you can make sound decisions and justify them accordingly.

With fear of rejection from other people as one of my greatest anxiety drivers, I can relate a lot.

One of my favorite learnings about the topic recently though is that saying "yes", "maybe" or even just staying silent is effectively the same as saying "no", just in other dimensions: and vice versa.

Saying no to nuclear means saying yes to coal.

Saying yes to doing something I don't like because I don't want to offend someone also means saying no to being honest and enjoying myself.

Just embracing that the vast majority of decisions have the potential to offend — but that this offense is also not my own but the recipients' feeling, originating from _their_ belief systems that I have no control over — was immensely liberating to me.

Worth remembering that "No." is a complete sentence. No requirement to respond "No, because ...".

This can help your mental health considerably.

To decide is allways to say no to something by saying yes to the other. And vice versa.

Especially saying no to the latest hyped up technology of the year.

Deciding means cutting off. Saying no IS what a decision is

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