Ask HN: Asking what you did wrong in an interview?

I've only tried this a few times and I seem to get silence in return.

This is only after the phone interview; after I get a "Thanks but no thanks" email I've asked in polite terms why I got passed over. I've heard back only once out of the few times I've done it and I felt that it really was a kind of hard decision for them to make.

Is it impolite? Is it a legal concern? Do they not like me that much? What?

  • The times I have asked I have not received a response or the response I got was generic and dismissive, rather than helpful which is what I was hoping for.

    I'm guessing the lack of a response is because:

    1. They don't feel they have to justify their decision. 2. They don't want to get into a dispute/nit-pick. 3. They are just bad hirers and don't know how to provide adequate feedback. 4. They are trying to hire someone, not help people they are not hiring.

    Conversely, when I have turned down an offer those companies have never asked me why.

    - James.

  • I would not engage in this conversation with an interviewee if someone asked me that question. It sounds like an invitation to an argument or a lawsuit.

    Chances are it's not something you did wrong, it's just that other people who had the same phone interview seemed like better candidates to move to the next level of screening.

    If you want feedback on your phone interview, have a friend/colleague sit in the room with you and listen to your side of the conversation - or, more likely to be illegal, record the conversation and have someone you trust listen to it afterwards.

  • Whatever "it" is, it's way more about them than it is about you.

    It hurts, but the best thing really is to just take your lumps, and try to detach yourself from the the idea that the rushed, off-the-cuff judgements that utter strangers make of you in the heat of the most awkward of social contexts imaginable has any relation to you as person.

    That is to say: do take inventory of what happened, and do try to learn from the situation and do better next time... but please don't take it "inside" you as a person.

    Life is just way too short for that.

  • You're not likely to get it from the hiring manager or the people which interviewed you. However, if you went through a recruiter and have good rapport with him/her, you may be able to get answers to your questions about "why" and what their reservations were. Whether or not this knowledge _actually_ helps you in the future is another, perhaps more interesting, question.

  • If someone tells you the one or two tiny things you did wrong, you will just fix those two tiny things and interview again and maybe make it through instead of building the broad skills necessary that would have made those two things non-issues.

    For instance, if your resume says something like that you want to be CEO within five years, the interviewer could tell you that they can't take you seriously. You will just fix your resume and reapply to some other job. However, all that telling you accomplishes is that there is now a person out there that has completely unrealistic expectations but knows not to put it on his or her resume.

  • Large companies have canned responses and HR coaches interviewers to avoid providing direct feedback. Given the liability of someone providing inappropriate feedback, don't expect a candid answer. Good luck!

  • One employee at my work (I will not name it) was initially passed over for a job because he called the company by the wrong name in his cover letter. He emailed and asked what he could do better for his next job interview. That email got him the job.

    He was fired some time later for messing up too much on the job. [I couldn't imagine that there would be any kind of predictor for that] ... I suppose it just depends on who you ask and when you ask them.

  • I frequently 'name a price'; that is, I disclose my current salary without remembering that it locks me in for later negotiation.

  • Perhaps it's very basic- in the Time Moneyland article on 8/8 (http://moneyland.time.com/2012/08/08/how-not-to-sabotage-you...), it's suggested that the very tendency that you care enough to ask is why they didn't hire you.

  • the one time I asked for this I actually got a detailed list of notes each of my interviewers had made, I found it very helpful

  • I once interviewed a potential hire in person and at the end of the process he asked 'How did I do?' then pulled out of list of questions in the expectation of forensic debrief as to where he could improve his interview technique!

    Frankly, interviewing is a game with many unwritten rules - one is if you don't get the gig, you are expected to politely accept the decision and move on. Another is the interviewer will often decide in the first 60 seconds if you're getting hired, so asking for feedback on where you 'went wrong' is a waste of everyone's time.

    Remember, when you interview, your potential employer has every intention of hiring you assuming you tick a few boxes. This is also part of the game. Can you figure out what those boxes are? Put yourself in their shoes. What would you like to see in you? As long as you continue to land interviews, don't become disheartened - keep going and you will get hired.